Pt.3 To Flagstaff and Beyond (The End)

Saturday:

I magically wake-up at 5:30am…ugh, seriously? 5:30am Why?...I can’t tell you, I just did. The camp was quite as most people were “sleeping-in” till 7 and 8 o’clock like normal people. I quietly pack up my belongings and head to the White House Ruins Trail Head. It appears that I was the only person there…of course that makes sense because everyone else was asleep. I’m standing on the rim of the canyon looking down the 600’ deep walls. I’m facing east and the canyon appears to go on forever. I feel a storm in the air. The clouds are rolling in from the east, they start out pretty sporadic but but behind them is a large solid black cloud. The sun is making its best efforts to penetrate through the clouds. It wins sometimes. I begin my decent at 6am. It’s cool and overcast, the air is fresh and I packed my breakfast to enjoy by the ruins.  The clouds part here and there allowing the morning light to magnify the orange sandstone, but this is only momentary as the clouds are soon to return. It doesn’t take me long to enter the base of the canyon. I’m greeted by flowers, trees, and cows.

6:00am

I make my way across a small ravine, as I begin to head towards the ruins I see them. The Navajo peoples (mostly women this time) are setting up their booths for the day. Ahhhhh!!! I say to myself. Why???? This is frustrating and only detracts from the special moment I was having with myself and with nature.  I hurriedly make my way past them but still offer them a friendly “good morning”. These sellers were much less annoying then those found on the rim, but ethically, I couldn’t buy anything from them. Right beyond them is the ruin. It’s quite pretty indeed, but is secured by a 6 ft fence, which of course detracts from the surrounds. I’m happy to be here. I sit on a tree trunk and break out my breakfast. The women are laughing and speaking their native tongue which echoes of the canyon wall. Surprisingly, it was pretty magical because I can only imagine for how many centuries conversations have been held in this canyon…if only walls could talk, right?

White House Ruins 

I was back on the road by 8:00am, I really didn’t have a particular destination, but I stopped at the Petrified Forest NP. As suspected, it was beautiful. I leave it to the pictures. I will say that there were many French tourists there which for some reason surprised me.

Crystal Forest

As I left I decided to head down 77 to Show Low. I drove through Snowflake which reminded me of the Stepford Wives…it was a creepy little town. Show Low was amazing, and in a way, reminded me of Lake Tahoe. It began to rain as I entered Show Low and the smell of wet pine made me want to move out of Tucson that day. I continued down hwy 60, which was my first time, it was beautiful. I didn’t know that Arizona could be that nice. How the terrain changed before my eyes is just amazing. The drive took me all they back to the valley…ugh…the hot, hot, valley.

Somewhere on hwy 60

Final Thoughts:

“So why did you take this trip?” (a common question), which is then followed by, “Did you get what you were seeking?”

I took this trip because I felt like my brain, my heart, and my soul was going to explode. I hoped to find some enlightenment, some compassion, and some peace within myself. My summer has been trying to say the least; I have had heart heavy issues with regards to my family, education, and relationships. I was so happy for 2011 to arrive because 2010 was so bad. However, I think 2011 has taken the cake.

 I’ve had to deal with losing my focus/passion in something that I had sacrificed a great deal to get. I’ve been dealing with family members reaching death, and their mental state reverting back to an uncompassionate child. And lastly, I fell in love with someone, and it was all very unexpected and in the end my heart was broken.

“Did I get what I was seeking?”….

Not exactly. I feel restored, but some of these issues will take more than a week in the woods to combat. However, I can say that I’m down right tired of being in school. I want my pretty piece of paper, and I want the ability to move on and into new things and places.

My family….well, I just have to understand that their time on this earth is limited, and that in their mental condition that they don’t know any better. I’m trying not to let it get to me, and just go with the flow, and know that they just aren’t the same people anymore.

Relationships…I have moved on. I found my peace with the situation. Am I bitter? no. Am I hesitant about giving my heart away so easily in the future? yes.  But you know what... I realized that I love to get all crazy over someone; I want a big crazy love. I will have it someday but I’m not going to rush it.

Other realizations…If I’m going to continue to live in Arizona I’m moving to Flagstaff. I can’t express enough how much I miss pine trees (or trees in general that don’t poke you). Ideally though, I want to move. I want to move around a lot. I don’t want to settle down just yet. I realized that I am capable of doing things on my own. I’ve never had a problem being alone, but in the past, I didn’t find much enjoyment in activities that were solo. I had a great time by myself. I think if anyone else was with me I wouldn’t have been able to focus quite as well.  I liked my alone time, I liked not having internet, I enjoyed having little to no cell service. Lastly, I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors but have made excuses as to why I wouldn’t take the time to explore them. This I am done with. I will explore, I will hike, I will drive, I will stomp my boots all over this damn place... Plans have already been made to enjoy the landscape. After all, I’m not going to be in Arizona for the rest of my life, so I might as well take advantage of it while I’m here. 

Thank you to my friends that have given me words of encouragement, and have taken the time to listen to my emotional turmoil. You know who you are and I love you all.

Pt.2 To Flagstaff and Beyond

Wupatki NM

Thursday:

Today is my last night in the yurt, my last night in Flagstaff. There are three National Monuments close to Flag. I decided to hit them all up in one day. My first stop was Sunset Crater. Lava flows, lava rocks, all very pretty, but my calve muscles felt like string cheese tearing apart whenever I walked so the idea of hiking through a lava bed just didn’t sound appealing. From there the road took me to Wupatki National Monument, here there were about five ruins, each characteristically their own but at the same time quite unified.  I managed to visit all of the ruins. The larger complex, the Wupatiki Pueblo, had two ancient ball courts. I decided to set the self timer on my camera and entered the ball court for a ridiculous stupid faced photo. I stood there like an ass and realized that the camera didn’t capture my stupidness. I began to approach my camera which was located at the only entrance/exit to the ball court, and under the step, tightly wound was a rattle snake…well, it was a snake, I didn’t approach it to find out exactly what type…but who really cares. What do I do now? I assess my situation and realize that my only option is to climb the five foot stone wall. Ah the escape plan has manifested in my brain! I run over and try my foot hold on the wall, of course, the stone isn’t protruded enough for my feet to grab. My second attempt was successful  and I was able to push myself out of the “snake pit”. I was a little frazzled but I handled it like a pro!

Sunset Crater NM

My final journey was to Walnut Canyon National Monument, I had to descend 200+ steps to some mediocre cliff dwellings, I thought my knee was going to give out on the way down.

Around 3:30pm I made it back to the yurt. I had decided to further my adventure to Canyon de Chelly the following day. I packed up the non-essentials, made chili and tamales on the grill, and retired myself to the yurt. Old neighbors gone, new neighbors emerge, but today I didn’t feel like being social. The clouds began to darken and the smell of rain filled the air. I lit the wood burning stove and watched the flames dance. A warmness filled the yurt as the sound of thunder rang the sky. Alarm set for 6:30am.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Friday:

6:30am, it’s cold outside and damp due to last night’s rain. I changed and packed the rest of my belongings into the car. I hit the road by 7am. Flagstaff is busy in the morning with kids off to school, and people off to work. I waved goodbye to the Kachina Peaks and headed east. I have a four hour drive ahead of me. I’m on hwy 40/66 so of course there are many roadside anomalies, I had to hold back the temptation to stop at the concrete teepees and hideous dinosaurs, I’ll hit them up on my way back. I’m in a hurry to get to Canyon de Chelly. Finally my exit approaches and I head north on 180. I’ve entered the Navajo Nation. I suddenly feel like a tourist. I drive past two teenagers pumping water from a well…the things we take for granted. I drive this long road and enter the Painted Desert. Reds, oranges, browns all stratified across the valley. How fortunate I feel to be seeing this.

I enter Chinel, Az. a reservation town that seems to be doing well due to all the tourists. However, it still feels like a third-world country. I can’t help but feel like I’m being judged.

I enter the park and am ecstatic to find that everything is free! I went to the visitors center and purchased a new sticker for my car. I proceeded to the campground to find it about 20 percent full. Awesome! There’s even a real bathroom, with real running water! No showers though, damn it. Oh well, I washed my face and hair in the sink and that gives me a much needed refresher.

I set-up camp, which doesn’t take long, and I ready my car for a sleep over. I have some time to kill so I head to the north rim of the canyon. There are two view points from on the north from which you can see some ruins. As I approach the entrance to the cliffs I’m accosted by natives trying to sell me jewelry and pottery. I kindly refuse and make my way to the Antelope House overlook. It’s breathtaking. Almost as awe-inspiring as the Grand Canyon. Rich in deep red colors, and inhabitants still farming the fertile soil below.

I look at the map obtained at the visitor’s center and see that all access to the canyon is merely visible through these outlooks. Only one trail exists for the public to hike, the rest you have to hire a Navajo guide. I feel a little jiped, and a little bored.

I flee to the next outlook just to be accosted again. No thanks I say as my frustration grows. I fear the salesmen so I retreat to my camp. When I get there I find I have a visitor. Her name is Molly, or at least that’s what I called her. She’s a mangy reservation dog looking for a hand-out. Of course, I’m a sucker so I feed her a tamale and a hot dog as I prepare myself a tuna sandwich. She’s good company and hangout with me. She goes to check-out newcomers, then returns for some friendly conversation. She’s a good listener, and I wanted to take her home with me.

"Molly"

As the day continues I get a non-four legged visitor. His name is Gilbert he’s a local that teaches painting classes, he's a traveling artist that visits many landscapes. He comes over to talk about the weather. I can tell he’s thirsty for some conversation. Molly has left, so I decide to go ahead and talk. I was making diner so I offered him some, he accepted. He told me stories of Puerto Rico and Massachusetts where he visits to pain. Also he suggests that I visit monument valley. After about an hour the park ranger comes by the let us know that they will be giving a talk about the canyon…yes! an excuse to finish this conversation. I politely indicate that I’m going to get ready to go, and he retreats to his car to finish reading his newspaper.

This place is a little weird so I’ve decided to only spend the night. I’ll awake in the morning and go the short 2 mile hike to the bottom of the canyon, then head off towards Globe. Not sure were I’m staying, let alone going, but that’s the purpose of this trip. 

More Photos here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandia_g/

Pt. 1 To Flagstaff and Beyond

Tuesday:

I left my parents house in Casa Grande at 9am, it was already a hot 94 degrees.  I made it to Phoenix in an hour and by then it was an even 100. Ugh, I couldn’t drive fast enough to get up to the mountains. I was feeling a little “weird” so no one artist on my iphone seemed to do it for me. I started with…

Le Sera (a little to down)
AC/DC –Dirty deeds (friggen rocked it through PHX)
Foo Fighters (eh, it was alright)
Golden Boots (Now here’s the stuff!)

I was about 40 miles from Flagstaff when I saw my thermometer drop. I rolled down the windows and let the air filter past my ears as my arm tingled in the sunlight. Huge puffy clouds dotted the sky. As I approached Flagstaff I could see the Kachina Peaks ever so daunting. I entered Flag doubting my abilities to reach the summit, but yet excited to try.

I-17 North. San Francisco Peak straight ahead!

I hopped on 180 North to the Nordic Center. It leads me up and out of Flag as I could feel gravities effects on my car. I ascended to a forest of pines and aspen. I pulled down a dirt road where I had to exit the car and open the fence. As I entered I could feel the smile form across my face as happiness filled my heart. For a moment I imagined him with me, how he would have loved this. To keep the tears at bay, I hurriedly unpacked the car and reached for some snacks as I hadn’t eaten all day.

I stood outside my yurt and took a deep breath in, this is what I had come for. The distant trees called, so I answered them. Grabbing a bottle of water, changing my shoes, I headed out to a sea of green. Two hours later I returned to find the camp had another occupant. She offers some friendly chatter and invites me to diner, I accept partially out of obligation. A strange and awkward woman she turns out to be, but then again, who am I to judge. She too, a lone woman who had a significant change in life, age, and is looking for something.

Yurt living

what I wondered into

Diner ends and I politely escape. Thunder pounds the sky. I choose to accept this and pour myself a cheap cup of wine. I sit in my chair, feet up, book in hand and begin to read. My brain isn’t having it, I begin to flip the pages to pictures and the map in the back. Another car approaches and so does my awkward friend. Now I find myself surrounded while busy chatter occurs. I make haste and busy myself with packing my backpack for the following days hike. This gesture signals the group to disperse. I retire to my yurt for now looking for solitude.

Tomorrow is a new day.  

__________________________________________________

Wednesday:

Alarm 6:30am. Snooze. 6:40am. Turn off. Alarm 7:00am. Snooze. 7: 10am finally make it out of bed.

Once again I’m not very hungry. I really haven’t eaten much over the past week, but I know I need to eat something so I start packing snacks into my backpack just to discover that my water bladder sprung a leak. So say the least, my pack is soaked, my jacket, first-aid kit, gloves,…everything (Fuck!) Ok, I unload everything and dump the water out of my pack, refill the bladder and make sure the lid is on tight, and make my way to the trailhead. I drive up the Snowbowl pass to an elevation of 9000’. I exit the car filled with excitement, yet pessimistic as to if I can make it.

I begin my arduous climb through a field of wildflowers. I walk closer to the tree line and then enter.  The trees tower over me, and there is an eerie stillness among them. I continue deeper and deeper, higher and higher, switchback after switchback brings me closer to my goal. My breath shortens, my pulse I feel throbbing in my hand, my legs start to trimmer beneath me.  The altitude has taken hold of my body and there is nothing I can do about it.

I'm guessing this is at about 10000/10500 ft

I stop frequently to keep my body at rest, to cool down, to catch my breath. Water nor food tastes good, only the hard cold stone upon which I sit brings me pleasure. I push myself with lies of “only one more mile”. Finally the brick wall appears at about 11,000’, it’s menacing. I only have a third to go (at least that’s what I told myself). Trekking pole in ground, legs in motion, I have to do this.  Every step makes my legs scream. The air is thin and the terrain starts to change and I know I’m getting closer. I round a corner, then another. I look back, I see what I’ve accomplished so far, and this inspires me.  I continue. After about 3 hours I reach the saddle of the mountain at 11,750’. I look and all around me is a wondrous landscape.  I come to a sign “Humphrey Trail - >” another 900’ to climb to reach the top of Arizona. I inhale it all, and I know that this here, this moment sitting on the saddle, this is where I end. I’m fine with that, actually, I’m more then fine, am ecstatic. I sit on this mountain hoping for some enlightenment, instead I enjoyed a peanut butter sandwich.

this is were I got my extra kick in the pants

That's the San Francisco Peak...next time. 

Sitting on the saddle facing southwest. There's a forest fire in the distance.

To Find Inspiration

"Never let go of that fiery sadness called desire." -Patti Smith


Sometimes you need a to find inspiration in your life. This quote means a lot to me. Desire.... to long or hope for : exhibit or feel desire for:  to express a wish for.


We all desire something or even someone throughout our lives, but desire is full of challenges, we need to embrace the happiness and the sadness that may come from our desires. Desire is intense, it pushes us and also makes us look stupid, but that's ok. Without desire we would loose motivation, our human spark. In those times of doubt, or even in those times I need a boost, I can look down and find inspiration.   


To make this even more meaningful to me, I opted not to use a pre-manufactured font, instead, this is in my own hand (that's why it's hard to read) 

Finding Truth in Self

Sometimes there is a need for reflection. I find myself having to put my life back together, in more ways than one. Summer wasn’t very kind to me this year, full of stresses that I don’t wish upon anyone.  To finish the summer a person I adored left me for reasons that still don’t quite make sense. I find myself in a lonesome state of heartache.  But with these trials come new adventures, I decided to spend some quality time with myself, to ponder my existence, my future, my immediate situation. I chose this over getting a tattoo…well; I probably will get that too. However in the mean time, it’s time for me to find myself again, to alight myself within the universe. To do this I’m spending a week in the Cochise National Forest, I found a lovely yurt with a wood burning stove. To say the least, I will be encompassed by nature which is what I’ve been missing in my life. Plus I get to live in fucking yurt…so excited!  I’m pretty sure I’ve packed more food then clothes, but I do have my priorities. While on my quest for self discovery, I’m going to attempt to hike the Humphrey Trail to the San Francisco Peak (12,633'), a 9 mile roundtrip hike to the highest point in Arizona. Of course, pictures will be posted so don’t worry. Hopefully standing on a mountain will give me a better view of life and how minuscule my problems really are. 
Wish me luck.