The Start of a New

Dearest Blog,

How I have been neglecting you is horrible. I'm sorry.

So here we go…

I'm officially withdrawn from school. Papers signed, moneys returned, school stresses relieved. Now you might be asking yourself "why?" Well there are two reasons, two very strong and emotional reasons.
(1) Back in late February/March my grandfather was admitted to hospital. He suffers from respiratory problems and wasn't getting enough oxygen which was causing himself to be poisoned by the CO2 that wasn't escaping his blood stream. Luckily he pulled out of it, but is significantly diminished by the whole ordeal.
(2) I was doubting my potential profession. I love a lot of things about architecture, and how cool is it be asked what you do for a living and answer, "I'm an architect". But being able to say that requires a lot of sacrifices, time, passion, and commitment, being political, and of course wearing the most stylish clothes. Most of my peers dream of building these egotistical monuments to one's self, while a hand full of us actually care about what we are doing the world and the effects that "we" have on our community. However, the later is not as celebrated.

So here I was in my second semester of my third year in architecture school when I realized that this wasn't what I wanted to do. As a matter of fact, and this is kind of silly in hindsight, but on my third day of class I was working late in studio and I just broke down and cried. Now there are only a handful of people that have ever seen me cry, luckily I was by myself. My realization was sad for several reasons, but I won't go into that at this time.

With this time off I hope that I can discover more about myself and what I want to do with my life. I've been lost before and now I'm lost again and it sucks balls. I wish that my time away from school would give me more insight into myself, but for now, I feel out of control when it comes to school and having a plan. The only thing that I have realized is that we really have a limited time on this earth, and it's up to us to make the best out of it that we can. I can make a list of things I want to see and do, as I'm sure everyone has done at some point in their lives, but in the end most of those people never complete their bucket list. I'm sure it's a sad realization for people when they get to the end and realize that they never completed what they hoped to achieve. Now I'm sure that the hiccups in the road were all valuable to their lives, but I hope to find a way to have hiccups, travels, and aspirations all realized before I die. With this said, it makes me really search my soul for my calling. I will never know for sure what that is because I have a sneaky suspicion that life will interrupt or change that ideal that I have, but what I do know for sure is that I'm not going to put anything off and I'm going to take the opportunities that are placed in front of me, and I'm going to enjoy every bit of it.

Enough rambling for now. I hope to keep up this blog up with remarkable experiences, new places, and good friends.