Match Game: Emails

As many of you know I’ve been on  the online dating scene for sometime now. Over the past 10yrs I have been an on-again off-again internet dater. At first I had expectations but they seem to have lessened over the years. I’ve had good and bad experience with this new-fangled technology. Now that I am older and wiser, I don’t take this too seriously. I’ve come to enjoy meeting new people as most are very interesting in their own ways. I will say, that out of all of the emails/connections I make, I maybe only reply to about 10% because most emails contain stupid nonsense, like the following…

“Hello. How are you? So are you still on the market and looking?”

(Would I be on an online dating service if I wasn't?)

“Hello how are you 2night?”

(Really? Is spelling "tonight" really that hard. 2 is not a word)

“Just wanted to say,............ you're a catch.”

(I can't even comprehend what to say to this...um, thanks?)

“I saw your profile (confession: I've seen it more than once, but gin and I were hanging out and he convinced me to write you) and I wanted to thank you for putting some double 0 buckshot into the "Painter of Light" or his works at least. I don't know you, but if you wanted to go a bit further I would help hide the body. Who knows hi-jinx my even ensue? 
So I wanted to say hi and see if you were interested in striking up a conversation.”
 (WTF?I have no idea what this is about. Wait...you're drunk emailing me? Classy!)

“damn youre fine! i wish i was your man... ;)”
(hummm....you wish you were my man and this is the best you could come up with?)

” Lol”
(WTF? I must have missed the joke)

“you are a godess, You are so awsome your everything iam looking for in a women I would worship you”

(This one could be a potential stalker)

 

As you see, these go from bad to worse. Now I’m not grammatically perfect by any means, but I think when you are making your first impression on someone it’s probably not a bad idea to spell-check your shit, or use proper grammar, maybe forgo smiley faces, and lastly don’t write like you’re texting me.

To say the least, NO I did not respond to these people, I mean come on what they hell am I suppose to say. A word of advice to the men and women of the online dating scene…please compose yourself in the proper manner, and know that composing a thoughtful email with more than one sentence is much more appealing to the opposite sex.

Lastly, capitalize your “I”…this is proper not “i” because that just makes you look like a moron.

 

 
Just in case you are wondering, yes, I've been writing many stories about my experiences with Match...more to come!